So as i am sure you have seen, a video is making the rounds on the Internet today, of a series of fake interviews held by a company in Boston. The requirements for the job were extensive, and seemingly inhumane, things like "no breaks", "eating only after the associate has eaten", and on and on, the perspective employees growing more and more flabbergasted as the interview proceeds. Then at the end, to the surprise of no mother ever, it is revealed that the position they are referring to is that of "Mom". Que heart melting music, and the interviewees falling to pieces about their own Mommas. It's very sweet, if a little cheesy. If you would like to see it you can do so here.
As a mom, yeah, i had a moment of sniffly pride, because being a full time mom IS all of that they described. It's long days with no breaks, it's missing meals, and sleep, and being expected to have all the answers. But what they didn't talk about, and what i feel is often neglected in this conversation is, "why?". Because it IS a choice. There is nothing that requires women to put their lives on hold (or men, there are plenty of completely kick ass full time wonder dads out there, and they deserve their moment too) and give all of themselves to another person. It's a choice, that is made over and over again, every single day. It's hard, it's sometimes thankless, and there will be times where you question the decision. There are those that have children, that never really earn the parent title, and there are natural parents without the benefit of kids. It is not for everyone, and there are plenty of differing schools of thought on the subject. A lot of it is chance and luck, but most of it is love. Blinding, all encompassing, earth shattering, love.
See because when i am up in the middle of the night with my toddler curled up on my chest because his teeth are killing him, and he needed his Mom to get comforted enough to finally sleep and get some relief, i don't feel cheated. They are some of the best nights I'll ever have. I hate when my little boy hurts, and i will always want to take that pain away, and for maybe the only period of his life, in some small way, i can. He will never need me as much as he needs me now, ever again. Every day he grows more independent, smarter, more curious, and it is a wonder to behold. To have been present for every single one of his firsts. To watch on with unfettered gratitude at having the privilege of doing so.
There are day that are hard. Hard on both of us. Days that i am not the mother i want to be. Days that i lose patience. Days that i phone it in, and let him spend most of the day on the couch curled up with me, watching his favorite movies, because we are both too tired, and too frustrated to do anything else. But then there are days that take my breath away. Watching him play on a playground for the first time, seeing him experience rain, watching as he figure out a new toy, a new trick, a new skill.. Watching this incredible little person, that i helped create grow, flourish, and thrive, and become a clever, sweet, funny, little boy. It's hard. But my gosh, is it worth it. I may not get paid, but i have something so much better. I have the adoration of a little boy that has spent every day and nearly every hour of his life with me to this point. I have the appreciation of a husband who works very hard to give me the right to be a full time stay at home mom, because we both feel it is important for one of us to be with him. But i think it boils down to love. I have oceans, unfathomable depths of unbridled love seeping out of every wall in our home. It's in every hug, every kiss, every afternoon spent cuddling, or playing, reading, or napping. It's in the good days, and it is in the bad. It's in my son's eyes and my husband's arms. It's watching the two most important people in my world play and learn together. It's everywhere, and it's everything.
I am very, very, lucky.
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