So, it has been a year since my very first Mother's Day, where i was the one being celebrated, and here is what i have learned. Being Mom is hard. Terrifying even. The fate of a person's entire life rests on how well you accomplish this job. Who a person becomes, how they relate to people, that's on you (barring certain medical conditions of course). It is pressure, and it is ultimate responsibility, because if you fuck it up, this tiny person that you love from the very deepest pits of your soul, will be the one that suffers. This is the thing that consumes my mind most days. That i'm not doing it right.
I love my son in a way that leaves me speechless sometimes. The little boy in the next room, curled up, peacefully sleeping with his blanket, is, i firmly believe, what i was meant to do with my life. I am not a perfect Mother though. I lose my patience sometimes, i let him watch far too much TV, i can't drive, so we spend most of our time at home, unless Daddy is here. I love him, but i frequently feel like i fail him. Like our decision to have him when we did, did him a disservice because it robbed him of the social and emotional development that would have come with spending the first year and a half of his life surrounded by loving family, instead of just his Dad and I. It's just the three of us, and most of the time, it is really just the two of us, and the thing that keeps me up at night, is that i'm not sure it's enough.
I spend a lot of time scared now, scared for his future, for what may be.. So i guess what i have learned is that being Mom means no longer living for yourself. It means steeling yourself to the reality that what you are doing matters. Probably more than anything else. It matters because your actions aren't of localised consequence. If you're a terrible parent, you'll raise a broken person, and broken people tend to break others. So i have learned what kind of parent i plan to be. What i am willing to do, to give my son the life he deserves, and every advantage i can get him. I have learned that i willing to advocate, to stand my ground, and fight for him, more than i would ever fight for myself.
I have learned that to love a child is to put their needs so far above your own.
I have learned that there are things in this world that can truly, and in a way i never expected, break your heart into a million pieces, and because you're Mom, you paint on a smile, and you laugh, and play, and hug, and sing, through all of it, because that little boy needs his Mom to be there, to be strong, and resilient, so that he doesn't have to be. For him to thrive, he has to see me thrive, even if it is a partial facade.
I have learned what love is, what it means to me. What is worth dying for, and most importantly, what is worth living for.
Saturday, May 10, 2014
Sunday, May 4, 2014
My Favorite Crock Pot Recipes (Volume 1)
So every Sunday until the end of the summer, i will be sharing 2 awesome crock pot recipes. At the end of this post i will list a few possible recipes to share for the next week, and the two that get the most requests will be featured. Simple and sweet, and something fun to keep up with. We could live out of our crock pot, and it gets enough use that i even invest in those crock pot liners that sound like a joke, but i swear, make life SO much easier.
So for this week our recipes are baked pasta, and stuffed pork chops. Both are crazy yummy, and oh so easy.
Crock Pot Baked Pasta:
1 pound pasta
1 pound ground beef/turkey/kielbasa/Italian sausage/veggie option*
your favorite pasta sauce (about 32 ounces)
1 cup chopped bell pepper
1 cup sliced mushrooms
8 ounces ricotta
1.5 cups mozzarella
1 TBSP Italian seasoning
1 TBSP garlic
*This is awesome with zucchini, yellow squash, peppers,mushrooms etc, and i imagine eggplant.
First things first if you are making a homemade sauce start that first so that it has time to simmer together and develop a little flavor a half hour ahead of time should do since it will keep cooking in the crock pot. Then in a frying pan, cook your protein (skip this step if you are making this vegetarian), until cooked through and golden brown. Set aside. Chop your bell pepper, and mushroom, set aside. Next mix together the ricotta, 1 cup of the mozzarella, Italian seasoning, and garlic until combined and smooth, set aside. Now that you have all your elements, layer it up. Sauce on the bottom, then pasta, then half of the meat and veggies, then sauce, then pasta, then cheese mixture, then sauce, then pasta, then the rest of the meat, then sauce, then pasta, top with the remaining sauce covering well. You want all the layers to be very saucy because this is what is going to cook the pasta, so i know it will seem like too much at first, but that pasta will drink it all up, i promise. Set your crock pot to lo for about 5 hours, or high for 4. When it is done, cover with remaining mozzarella, turn off the crock pot, and let sit for about 10 minutes with the lid off while the cheese melts down. Serve and enjoy!
As for the stuffed pork chops
You'll need:
2 pork chops, butterflied and pounded
1 apple
1/2 onion
1 stalk celery
1.5 cups chicken broth
1/2 cup ricotta
1 cup bread crumbs (italian or corn bread)
salt, pepper, garlic, and paprika to taste
1 cup Mushrooms
3 TBSPs Butter
1 TBSP flour
.5 cup cream
Dice the apple, onion, and celery into small pieces and saute in a frying pan until tender, add ricotta and blend well, then add half of a cup of chicken broth, seasonings, and the bread crumbs, stirring well, cook on low until the crumbs have absorbed the broth and started to darken. Let cool for ten minutes or so. Pound out your butterflied chops until there are about half an in inch in thickness, season well. With some olive oil grease the bottom of your crock pot. On half the the pork chop load stuffing, you will probably be left with a little in the end, i usually refrigerate it and use it the next day in something. Fold there rest of the chop over the filling, so you have it folded in half around your stuffed. They will be thick, and a bit messy, but oh so worth it. Put in your crock pot, set it to low, and cook 6 to 8 hours.) When you are a half hour out, slice your mushrooms, and saute with one TBSP butter. Remove and set aside when browned. In that same pan, put in the other 2 TBSPs of butter, and sprinkle in 1 TBSP flour, whisking constantly for 2 minutes. Slowly add in the rest of the chicken broth, simmer for 5 minutes or until the consistency you want it, add cream, continue to simmer another 2 minutes, add seasoning, then add the mushrooms back in. Serve over your pork chops. Goes well with mashed potatoes, mashed cauliflower, whipped sweet potatoes, and green bean, corn, or broccoli casserole.
So this is it for this week. Up next week i can do, Crock Pot Chili, Crock Pot Lo Mein, Crock Pot Whole Citrus Chicken, or Crock Pot Breakfast Casserole. Vote for the two you want to see in the comments, and i'll be here same time next week. Happy cooking!
So for this week our recipes are baked pasta, and stuffed pork chops. Both are crazy yummy, and oh so easy.
Crock Pot Baked Pasta:
1 pound pasta
1 pound ground beef/turkey/kielbasa/Italian sausage/veggie option*
your favorite pasta sauce (about 32 ounces)
1 cup chopped bell pepper
1 cup sliced mushrooms
8 ounces ricotta
1.5 cups mozzarella
1 TBSP Italian seasoning
1 TBSP garlic
*This is awesome with zucchini, yellow squash, peppers,mushrooms etc, and i imagine eggplant.
First things first if you are making a homemade sauce start that first so that it has time to simmer together and develop a little flavor a half hour ahead of time should do since it will keep cooking in the crock pot. Then in a frying pan, cook your protein (skip this step if you are making this vegetarian), until cooked through and golden brown. Set aside. Chop your bell pepper, and mushroom, set aside. Next mix together the ricotta, 1 cup of the mozzarella, Italian seasoning, and garlic until combined and smooth, set aside. Now that you have all your elements, layer it up. Sauce on the bottom, then pasta, then half of the meat and veggies, then sauce, then pasta, then cheese mixture, then sauce, then pasta, then the rest of the meat, then sauce, then pasta, top with the remaining sauce covering well. You want all the layers to be very saucy because this is what is going to cook the pasta, so i know it will seem like too much at first, but that pasta will drink it all up, i promise. Set your crock pot to lo for about 5 hours, or high for 4. When it is done, cover with remaining mozzarella, turn off the crock pot, and let sit for about 10 minutes with the lid off while the cheese melts down. Serve and enjoy!
As for the stuffed pork chops
You'll need:
2 pork chops, butterflied and pounded
1 apple
1/2 onion
1 stalk celery
1.5 cups chicken broth
1/2 cup ricotta
1 cup bread crumbs (italian or corn bread)
salt, pepper, garlic, and paprika to taste
1 cup Mushrooms
3 TBSPs Butter
1 TBSP flour
.5 cup cream
Dice the apple, onion, and celery into small pieces and saute in a frying pan until tender, add ricotta and blend well, then add half of a cup of chicken broth, seasonings, and the bread crumbs, stirring well, cook on low until the crumbs have absorbed the broth and started to darken. Let cool for ten minutes or so. Pound out your butterflied chops until there are about half an in inch in thickness, season well. With some olive oil grease the bottom of your crock pot. On half the the pork chop load stuffing, you will probably be left with a little in the end, i usually refrigerate it and use it the next day in something. Fold there rest of the chop over the filling, so you have it folded in half around your stuffed. They will be thick, and a bit messy, but oh so worth it. Put in your crock pot, set it to low, and cook 6 to 8 hours.) When you are a half hour out, slice your mushrooms, and saute with one TBSP butter. Remove and set aside when browned. In that same pan, put in the other 2 TBSPs of butter, and sprinkle in 1 TBSP flour, whisking constantly for 2 minutes. Slowly add in the rest of the chicken broth, simmer for 5 minutes or until the consistency you want it, add cream, continue to simmer another 2 minutes, add seasoning, then add the mushrooms back in. Serve over your pork chops. Goes well with mashed potatoes, mashed cauliflower, whipped sweet potatoes, and green bean, corn, or broccoli casserole.
So this is it for this week. Up next week i can do, Crock Pot Chili, Crock Pot Lo Mein, Crock Pot Whole Citrus Chicken, or Crock Pot Breakfast Casserole. Vote for the two you want to see in the comments, and i'll be here same time next week. Happy cooking!
Thursday, May 1, 2014
Momma's got a meal plan.
So, i don't know about you, but i like to know what is in store for me in the days to come, and if i don't plan out meals ahead of time, i tend toward falling victim to the take out monster because it's easy, and effortless. But it is also expensive as hell, and crappy for your body, even if you try get healthier options, the food you get out is almost always swimming in sodium, sugar, and fat. So with that in mind, i am recommitting to meal planning. This is a bit of a trick here in Texas, where the heat can be best described as "just this side of the Gate to Hell), so my oven is off limits until either october, or until we move, whichever comes sooner. So i get TONS of use out of my crock pot. Below is my meal plan for this pay period:
5/1 - Shopping and take out
5/2 - Crock pot Moroccan lamb stew over couscous (freeze leftovers)
5/3 - Crock pot baked pasta w/ kielbasa and veggies (leftovers for lunch the next day)
5/4 - Crock pot beef stew (freeze leftovers)
5/5 - Crock pot stuffed pork chops w/ mashed potatoes (no leftovers)
5/6 - Crock pot spanish chicken and rice (freeze leftovers)
5/7 - Crock pot meatloaf w/ mashed potatoes (leftovers for sandwiches)
5/8 - Homemade pizza
5/9 - Crock pot citrus chicken w/ rice and veggies (no leftovers)
5/10 - Crock pot baked pasta w/ kielbasa and veggies (leftovers for lunch the next day)
5/11 - Reheat beef stew
5/12 - Crock pot chicken chili (freeze leftovers)
5/13 - Reheat lamb
5/14 - Take out
I already have most of what i need for all of this, our grocery bill which includes $40 for Thoren's pediasure should come out to just about $115 for the next two weeks, bearing in mind that 7 of these meals will stretch for 2 days. Pretty awesome huh? I buy our staples in bulk every couple months (pasta, rice, quinoa, chicken etc), and then really only have to get some produce, milk, eggs, and bread along the way. It's a system that i like, that works, and that i am actually pretty proud of when i stick to it.
For any of these recipes, leave a comment! I am thinking about doing a "Favorite Crock Pot Recipes" feature once a week, so let me know what you want to see.
5/1 - Shopping and take out
5/2 - Crock pot Moroccan lamb stew over couscous (freeze leftovers)
5/3 - Crock pot baked pasta w/ kielbasa and veggies (leftovers for lunch the next day)
5/4 - Crock pot beef stew (freeze leftovers)
5/5 - Crock pot stuffed pork chops w/ mashed potatoes (no leftovers)
5/6 - Crock pot spanish chicken and rice (freeze leftovers)
5/7 - Crock pot meatloaf w/ mashed potatoes (leftovers for sandwiches)
5/8 - Homemade pizza
5/9 - Crock pot citrus chicken w/ rice and veggies (no leftovers)
5/10 - Crock pot baked pasta w/ kielbasa and veggies (leftovers for lunch the next day)
5/11 - Reheat beef stew
5/12 - Crock pot chicken chili (freeze leftovers)
5/13 - Reheat lamb
5/14 - Take out
I already have most of what i need for all of this, our grocery bill which includes $40 for Thoren's pediasure should come out to just about $115 for the next two weeks, bearing in mind that 7 of these meals will stretch for 2 days. Pretty awesome huh? I buy our staples in bulk every couple months (pasta, rice, quinoa, chicken etc), and then really only have to get some produce, milk, eggs, and bread along the way. It's a system that i like, that works, and that i am actually pretty proud of when i stick to it.
For any of these recipes, leave a comment! I am thinking about doing a "Favorite Crock Pot Recipes" feature once a week, so let me know what you want to see.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)